3. Proper Dwagon grammar:
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A. Thank you, I would enjoy some tea and biscuits. What a lovely home you have.
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B. Hey dude, hand me another brewski.
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C. I heard dere was gonna be pie. Is dere pie? I just wuvs pie.
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4. Correct Dwagon response to drama or harassment:
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A. Report the offender to the authorities and "turn the other cheek".
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B. Shoot the offender with a Teddybear bazooka.
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C. Poot fire on the offender.
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D. BITE! BITE! BITE!
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5. Dwagon's favorite game:
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A. Pirates
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B. Star Trek
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C. Ork Invasion
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D. Riding anything that makes you dizzy
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E. All of the above and quite a bit more
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6. Dwagons love:
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A. Space ships
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B. Harmless but great big noisy guns and bombs
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C. Laughing insanely
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D. Teasing Orcs
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E. Jumping off high places into liddle biddy pools of water
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F. Hiding in leaves and jumping out at passerby
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G. Racing Riding Slugs
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H. Go Karts
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I. Chocolate
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J. Sorry, we've run out of space for this question
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7. Dwagon view of the land where anyone resides:
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A. It probly very pwetty.
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B. Wow, shineys!
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C. We gonna take over... right after milk 'n cookies.
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ANSWERS:
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1. A. Dwagons are recent hatches unfortunately left to survive on their own. We say unfortunate not
for them... but for any soul who tries to cause them problems. Cos everbody knows dwagons not
afraid o' nuthin.
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2. If you guessed B or D, bend over. We gonna smack you in da brain. Regarding C, yes...
Dwagons do love flat fwoggies. Let's just say it's an acquired taste.
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3. C. While A and B are potentially possible in specific situations, eberbody knows dwagons cannot
resist pie. Dat just how it is.
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4. All but choice A. About the only cheek a Dwagon turns is in preparation for option C.
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5. E. That was a "gimme" question in case you missed 2.
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6. If we'd have continued, we'd have run out of alphabet letters too. Then we would have had to
switch to numbers. And theoretically we might have run out of those...
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7. C. Be afwaid. Be vewy afwaid.
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GENERAL DWAGON GRAMMAR:
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While some people mistakenly believe Dwagons speak in baby-talk, this is an incorrect
assumption. Dwagons have their own language which they formed just because, in their opinion,
everyone else talks too serious. The best way to learn Dwagon grammar is just to listen to them
chat. Following is an exerpt quoted directly from a Dwagon. Non-stop...
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Hi dere. I a Dwagon. What is you? Oh, I likes dose kinda critters.
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How is I doing? I a Dwagon! Dwagons always do GREAT! I just been playing Star Trek. Zap Zap!
It fun. I gotta phaser an a tricorder an a combadge an a ship an another ship an a space shuttle an
dat about it.
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Wanna bite o' Flat Fwoggy? Dis one pretty good. I found it sevral weeks ago on da road. It amazin
no one pick it up yet! So I lucky. It pretty flat. I chewed on most of it but I left dat leg dere in case
someone else wanted a bite. I share wif you if you hungry.
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Gotta cookie? I just lubs cookies. I lubs pizza too. It pretty good. Not as good as cookies, cos dey
just nahm nahm nahm. But pizza rawks. Speshully if it got some flat fwoggie on it.
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I once swimmed in Kool Aid. Dat was fun.
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Hey, you seen my horsey? I gotta horsey. He pretty nice. He not bite or nuthin. He not as fast as my
car though. Vroom vroom! It really fast. Unless it hit sim edge. Den it get pretty slow.
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What you think of Elves? Dey funny. Not as funny as Orcs though. I lubs Orcs. Orcs chases us for
no reason except we divebombs 'em. Dat pretty kewl. Dey yell an hollar and runs after us but dey
neber catches us cos Dwagons pretty fast.
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I a smart Dwagon! Go ahead ask me a question. Huh? Ok asks me another question cos I don't
knows dat one. Wanna bite o' cookie? I just found one right dere on da sidewalk. I shares.
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--o--
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